This is where you’ll find the text I’ve written to introduce my blog. It will be engaging and contextualise the breadth of content available on McCannecdotes. But a post below about a date gone wrong, or a nudey mishap might just catch your eye and you’ll never even read this.

LATEST McCANNECDOTES

The Lofty Ambition

As I sat on a video call, a few months into COVID working-from-home, our European head honcho was giving the whole UK team an inspirational talk about the achievements of the past year, and the challenges ahead. With a captive...

The Professor, the Detective and the Bond Villain

This is the second part of my tales about autograph-hunting and celebrity-meeting. Instead of calling these Part I and Part II, I have signalled the connection by threading a commonality into the title – this advanced...

The Author, the Kitten and the Bond Villain

This two-part compendium is all about celebrity autographs, a true rabbit warren of a topic for me. What started out as “why don’t I tell the story about the time I met Hannah Fry at a book signing” (because...

The Parcels & The Porno

This story, if the villains of the tale had their way, would actually have been painstakingly written out with pen and paper, delivered personally to each of my readers (cue some joke about the paltry McCannecdotes fanbase, but...

COLLECTION: How I Bought A House

How I Bought A House, Part VI

I feel before we progress any further, a short course in Roman Numerals is required in case people start to get lost in the number of parts this story has evolved into. I delegate this course to my...

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How I Bought A House, Part V

Valentine’s Day was approaching, and this day is usually very eventful for me. Eventful in a card-writing and -posting type way, rarely eventful in a romantic dinner or lovemaking type way. But...

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How I Bought A House, Part IV

Where were we? Ah yes, Bromley. No, Strood. No no, Tooting! That’s it. Tooting with an air of impending dread. February 2019, with a mission to find and completely buy a house by June or face...

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How I Bought A House, Part III

What would happen is, we’d have a burst of house viewings, then get fed up, then take a break for a while (usually a year or year-and-a-half) then something would coax us out of house-hunting...

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How I Bought A House, Part II

We were well and truly in the midst of househunting. We’d been places, we’d seen places, we’d even visited the bank to sound them out on how much money they would be willing to give...

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How I Bought A House, Part I

The title is important here. This is not “How To Buy A House” – and if you’ve arrived here after a Google search on such a topic, then be immediately advised you will not find...

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COLLECTION: The Wedding Trilogy

The Wedding (Not Mine) Part I

“So how old’s Laura now?” Dougie asks us. Dougie is a distant relative; we’re at the wedding reception of my sister Laura. “Twenty eight now,” my brother replies...

The Wedding (Still Not Mine) Part II

Look at me in this picture. Look how perfect my 20-minute M&S suit looks, and it’s the right colour too. But where did I get my haircut? You’ll never guess, but luckily I have typed...

The Wedding (Nearly Mine) Part III

Part II of the story raised a lot of questions from eager readers. “How much did the haircut cost?” “Did you get laid?” and “There’s only one more of these wedding...

A selection of the shit I've written thus far...