“So how old’s Laura now?” Dougie asks us. Dougie is a distant relative; we’re at the wedding reception of my sister Laura. “Twenty eight now,” my brother replies...
COLLECTION: The Wedding Trilogy
The Wedding (Still Not Mine) Part II
Look at me in this picture. Look how perfect my 20-minute M&S suit looks, and it’s the right colour too. But where did I get my haircut? You’ll never guess, but luckily I have typed...
The Wedding (Nearly Mine) Part III
Part II of the story raised a lot of questions from eager readers. “How much did the haircut cost?” “Did you get laid?” and “There’s only one more of these wedding...
A selection of the shit I've written thus far...
The Swedophile Ring
Where No McCann Has Gone Before
Is Clapping Common on the Northern Line?
Operation Deepthroat
The Penis, the Pint Glass and the Photocopier
You Can Call Me “Al…”?
Taking The Tube To Manchester
The Supermarket Swipe, Part I
In The Dreamtime
The Tooting Samaritan
Who Wants To Date A Bosnian
Welcome to Birmingham
Rules For Complimenting A Lady
Times I Have Been Punched
The Passion Of The Christs
The Naked Neighbour
How I Lost My Vodka
So I Stole A Random Woman’s Handbag…
The Fishy Paypacket
The Supermarket Swipe, Part II
The South Korean Shenanigans, Part I
The Condom Conundrum
Airport Insecurity
The Problems With Having A Website
Things I Shouldn’t Have Said To Women
The Date Of The Dead
Online Dating Is For Freaks…
The Wrong Kind Of Gym Body
What The Germans Did For Us – #1 Comedy Names
My First Sober Year
The Eurovision Party
What The Fuck Is This Shit?
The Underground Pie Fight
Why Do People Hate The Tube, It’s Amazing!
The Netball Difference
