“So how old’s Laura now?” Dougie asks us. Dougie is a distant relative; we’re at the wedding reception of my sister Laura. “Twenty eight now,” my brother replies...
COLLECTION: The Wedding Trilogy
The Wedding (Still Not Mine) Part II
Look at me in this picture. Look how perfect my 20-minute M&S suit looks, and it’s the right colour too. But where did I get my haircut? You’ll never guess, but luckily I have typed...
The Wedding (Nearly Mine) Part III
Part II of the story raised a lot of questions from eager readers. “How much did the haircut cost?” “Did you get laid?” and “There’s only one more of these wedding...
A selection of the shit I've written thus far...
The Darts Conundrum
The Supermarket Swipe, Part I
Tube Map Picture Quiz
My Bizarre Phobias
The Broken Back & The Expensive Butt
The Underground Pie Fight
Dissecting The Bird In The Salad
The Black Woman Who Thought She Was White (And Was Racist. And Had Tourette’s.)
So I Stole A Random Woman’s Handbag…
The Tooting Samaritan
The Polish Incident
McCannswers – Reader Survey #1
The Tramp On The Train
The South Korean Shenanigans, Part II
My True Colours
The Internet Dumbfuck Virus
In The Dreamtime
The Penis, the Pint Glass and the Photocopier
An Experiment In User-Generated Content
The Blue Shark & The Frisbee
The Wrong Kind Of Gym Body
The Wedding (Nearly Mine) Part III
Taking The Tube To Manchester
Why Do People Hate The Tube, It’s Amazing!
The Birthday Splash
The Eurovision Party
The Ginger Man & The Strip Club
Other Alan McCanns of the Internet 2 (the music edition)
The Cash Machine Karma
How I Lost My Vodka
The Netball Difference
Times I Have Been Punched
Four Play
The Bosnian Hoax
The Checkout Girl – Part II
