Hello, welcome to my blog. A few people have suggested I should write down the comedy happenings which seem to occur everyday in my life, and most likely, those few people will be the only people who...
A selection of the shit I've written thus far...
The Donkey Slap, The Millionnairess & The Rentboy
The Aliens Up Above Us
I Saw Five Nipples On The Tube Today
The Secret Of Smokey Island
The Swedophile Ring
The Hotel Sextape
The Day I Nearly Blew Up Parliament
Airport Insecurity
Rules For Complimenting A Lady
What The Fuck Is This Shit?
What The Germans Did For Us – #1 Comedy Names
I find the English animosity towards the German people bizarre, since they go to extraordinary lengths to amuse us – even branding themselves for a lifetime with names which bring a snigger to...
An Experiment In User-Generated Content
It’s 3 o’clock in the fucking morning and I’m partway through 6 new McCannecdotes – have you any idea how long it takes to search the internet for funny stories and then...
Is Clapping Common on the Northern Line?
The Tube has always been a source of amusement for me, as you might have discovered in one of my earliest posts (the coloured underlined text is a hint to go and discover it now if you hadn’t...
In The Dreamtime
So I was out last night and managed to pick up this extremely hot girl in the bar, whose only intention seemed to be to take home the first person who chatted her up. We went back to her place...
How I Lost My Vodka
There are a lot of stories on this site that involve drinking, but to be honest it came as a shock to me how many actually don’t. When I first started writing this blog, I assumed it would...
The Birthday Splash
As it is my birthday, and I am fairly suicidal at the prospect of being 35, I thought it might be good to reminisce about my best birthday ever. I’ve never been a birthdays person, in fact at...
The Checkout Girl – Part I
In a previous post I introduced my “Polish Girls Are The Best” t-shirt and the kind of shenanigans it got me into, but that wasn’t what it was originally destined for. I had it...
The Ironman Tequila Shot
In my tequila days I was pretty much open to any tequila-based dare. I was at a leaving party and I was targeted by a tequila terrorist – a rather gnomish former colleague who dared me to do an...
The Piccadilly Croatian Crack Whore iPod Cry Rape Rip-Off
Soho is the creative beggary capital of Western Europe (as well as creative buggery, mind). Where other places just have pickpockets, muggers and teams of organised well-salaried gypsy begchildren...
The Online Dating Game, Part III
I got a bit McCannecdotal on this one girl last week who had e-mailed me from the dating website. It was entirely her fault, she asked me about 6 questions, and I had various stories related to each...
Welcome to Birmingham
My first job was in Birmingham and I lived there for two and a half years between 2001 and 2003. It’s a misunderstood place, not quite the shithole everyone is led to believe, but it never gave...
The Capital C Word
With the title of this post and the last, people might be worried this site is going all Sesame Street themed, but no, just a coincidence. No-one would ever call me conservative with a lower-case c...
The Monastery & the Nude Beach
Ah, the nude beach story. A classic. In fact this is the only anecdote on this site that has been written about before, back on my old holiday blog from my trip around the former Yugoslavia in 2007...
The Black Woman Who Thought She Was White (And Was Racist. And...
We were on our annual team afternoon out, and there was much for my small (but disproportionately talented and influential) department to celebrate. The birthdays of every team member for example...
The Online Dating Game, Part I
I signed up for an online dating site last year, with no real intention of actually meeting any “internet women” but out of curiosity about the whole thing and because a couple of people...
The Fishy Paypacket
I’ve had a varied career; games marketing, music management, publishing, web design, icing doughnuts, labouring, gutting fish. I guess for some reason I don’t really talk about the last...
Times I Have Been Punched
Thankfully, this is not part one of a series, but still this post is longer than I’d like. Getting punched has always taken me by surprise. Whereas in a fight, I’d be ready and aware that...
The Condom Conundrum
Some things are supposed to be hard when comes to making love, buying condoms should not be one of them. In the 1980s and 90s long before I knew what condoms were, believing them to be some kind of...
My True Colours
“Whit’s yer favourite colour wee man?” It’s a strange question to be asked in a dank seedy underpass. Maybe when I answered, the other young chap urinating against the wall...
Other Alan McCanns of the Internet 2 (the music edition)
So as I was googling my own name, I saw a suggested related search was “alan mccann music”. Now I knew to expect Alan McCann the sound engineer to pop up here, I’ll get on to him in...
The Date Of The Dead
I have mentioned before my annoyance with the sameyness of online dating profiles. Every girl out there seems to be the same skiing, mountain-climbing, horse-riding booklover who likes travelling and...
The Girlfriend, The Spillage & The E-mail Chain
This is my ex. I know right. Hot. She was my actual girlfriend for an actual period of time. It was official and she fully agreed with being known as my girlfriend. She even referred to me as her...
McCannswers – Reader Survey #1
McCannecdotes.com is now home to around 20,000 words of random mccanecdotal shit. This survey lets you have your say in the kind of shit I focus on for the next 20,000 words. Please give as much...
The Blue Shark & The Frisbee
Café Sol in Clapham was an old haunt of mine when I used to work in the area. In fact it was a Friday night mainstay for about a quarter of the company. A Tex-Mex restaurant by day and evening, the...
Who Wants To Date A Bosnian
My dating videos have generally been pretty successful, this is the story of one that bucked the trend, and made the girl in question … well, run away quickly. There are some similarities here...
