Hello, welcome to my blog. A few people have suggested I should write down the comedy happenings which seem to occur everyday in my life, and most likely, those few people will be the only people who...
A selection of the shit I've written thus far...
The Bosnian Hoax
I was out in Soho celebrating a birthday party in our IT team. It was my second engagement of the night after a celebratory well-done-everyone project completion party, so I was nicely oiled by the...
Meanwhile, Back On Match.com
So I wiped my match.com profile in May or June, having completely had it with online dating for a while, and specifically with that website. I probably ranted about how I was never going back and...
How I Lost My Vodka
There are a lot of stories on this site that involve drinking, but to be honest it came as a shock to me how many actually don’t. When I first started writing this blog, I assumed it would...
The Secret Of Smokey Island
I am planning to quit smoking tomorrow, February 1st.; this will be the second time I’ve quit. I only started smoking in 2007 and stopped in early 2011, only to start again at the end of last...
The Hotel Sextape
Sorry to disappoint my female fanbase but I must point out that the sextape mentioned in my title does not involve me, at least not in front of the camera. This does however mean that the rest of...
The Woman With A Trolley For Her Tits
You see a lot of strange things in Soho. In my usual smoking spot in Ramillies Place around the corner from work the traffic is always fascinating. In this one small street we have a beauty school, a...
The Checkout Girl – Part II
PREVIOUSLY IN “THE CHECKOUT GIRL” ANECDOTE: I fancied the big-nosed Polish girl from Sainsbury’s, bought t-shirt to impress her, went shopping, bought a tonne of crap, she...
The Coming Out & The Punchbag
My first flatmates in London were a gay couple, I’d moved here to London with them. We’d all been friends working at the same company in Birmingham, and neither of them had come out yet...
How I Got My PlayStation
So I’d left my job as the world’s most smartly dressed web designer as described in an earlier post, and intended to set up business for myself, tired of the thankless grind of corporate...
Is Clapping Common on the Northern Line?
The Tube has always been a source of amusement for me, as you might have discovered in one of my earliest posts (the coloured underlined text is a hint to go and discover it now if you hadn’t...
The Problems With Having A Website
When I started this blog, I intended it as an efficient way to keep about 6 people up-to-date on the latest shenanigans in my life without having to tell them, call them or e-mail them individually...
The Birthday Splash
As it is my birthday, and I am fairly suicidal at the prospect of being 35, I thought it might be good to reminisce about my best birthday ever. I’ve never been a birthdays person, in fact at...
The Aliens Up Above Us
The people upstairs have always been weird. I don’t mean the people who currently live upstairs have displayed consistently bizarre behaviour in the time I’ve known them. I mean the...
The Date With The Mummy
I was seeing this girl and it was getting serious, we’d been on quite a lot of dates but there was a problem, she kept vomiting. To begin with it was quite cute because I knew that no matter if...
The Blue Shark & The Frisbee
Café Sol in Clapham was an old haunt of mine when I used to work in the area. In fact it was a Friday night mainstay for about a quarter of the company. A Tex-Mex restaurant by day and evening, the...
Airport Insecurity
Me and airports don’t really get on. I think it stems from the notion of having to be there at a certain time (my timekeeping is legendary for all the wrong reasons) and also because there is...
The Piccadilly Croatian Crack Whore iPod Cry Rape Rip-Off
Soho is the creative beggary capital of Western Europe (as well as creative buggery, mind). Where other places just have pickpockets, muggers and teams of organised well-salaried gypsy begchildren...
What The Germans Did For Us – #1 Comedy Names
I find the English animosity towards the German people bizarre, since they go to extraordinary lengths to amuse us – even branding themselves for a lifetime with names which bring a snigger to...
The Underground Pie Fight
I snapped tonight. No, I’ve not been doing yoga again, this was on the commute home. If you’re a regular reader you will know this has been coming for some time, my journey to the Tube an...
So I Stole A Random Woman’s Handbag…
Yeah so like the title said, yesterday, I stole a woman’s handbag. She was walking along the street where I work; well, I say walking, she was wearing high heels clearly far higher than she had...
The Swedophile Ring
With the Eurovision Song Contest taking place in Malmo, Sweden this year, I’m already well-prepared in advance for the festivities, with a Swedish flag and a Swedish sash with Sweden written on...
The Fishy Paypacket
I’ve had a varied career; games marketing, music management, publishing, web design, icing doughnuts, labouring, gutting fish. I guess for some reason I don’t really talk about the last...
McCannswers – Reader Survey #1
McCannecdotes.com is now home to around 20,000 words of random mccanecdotal shit. This survey lets you have your say in the kind of shit I focus on for the next 20,000 words. Please give as much...
Who Is This Man?
On a lazy Sunday morning when I can’t be arsed to leave the house, it seems the anecdotes come to me instead… My sleep was regularly interrupted by many buzzings at the front door this...
The Penis, the Pint Glass and the Photocopier
In my defence of the classic tale you are about to read, I would say – not many aspiring comedy bloggers could squeeze three different cocks into a single anecdote. In fact, I would probably...
The Condom Conundrum
Some things are supposed to be hard when comes to making love, buying condoms should not be one of them. In the 1980s and 90s long before I knew what condoms were, believing them to be some kind of...
The Donkey Slap, The Millionnairess & The Rentboy
They say “the best things in life are free” right? Which is great because I have no money because I spend it all on shit, and trust me the shit things in life are expensive. But they also...
The Cash Machine Karma
I’m a big believer in Karma – the idea that your actions, good or bad, determine what’s coming to you. Of course, the fact that I am not a three-time multi-million-pound lottery...
Four Play
This story is just a prelude to a bigger anecdote I am writing which will take about an hour to read and have a spectacular climax. Someone asked me recently if I was a theatre buff. Nice to have an...
My True Colours
“Whit’s yer favourite colour wee man?” It’s a strange question to be asked in a dank seedy underpass. Maybe when I answered, the other young chap urinating against the wall...
The Day I Nearly Blew Up Parliament
“Hey look at this guy,” one armed policeman said to the other, “Look how … how WHITE he is! White as a freshly seized haul of cocaine. White as a transit van that’s up...
My Bizarre Phobias
If you think you’ve got some weird phobias, have a read of this shit I have to put up with… Firstly a bit of context, I’ll get onto the bizarre stuff further down. I’m not...
In The Dreamtime
So I was out last night and managed to pick up this extremely hot girl in the bar, whose only intention seemed to be to take home the first person who chatted her up. We went back to her place...
Training At Work
I think I’m a great person to be in a group training session with, and also a complete nightmare, depending on who you are. I’m great if you’re in my group, training alongside me...
Dissecting The Bird In The Salad
This didn’t happen to me, I read it in the news. Please calm your outrage, no I am not going to start simply reviewing common or garden news stories on this site (unless people really want me...