Welcome to McCannecdotes Minis – anecdotes barely visible with the naked eye, and therefore typed in a bigger font.
Sometimes I use these things to pad out bigger McCannecdotes, but some slip through the cracks. Here will be a list of such snippets.
They’re the kind of thing you can read when you have mere seconds to kill, such as when your train is pulling into the platform but just hasn’t quite stopped yet, or when you have been waiting for the barista to make your coffee and been reading a proper site, then you close it when she puts down the coffee on the table, and then there’s an agonising moment of boredom as you wait for her to put the lid on. Or when you… OK that’s enough of those.
I was in the gents toilets at work, washing my hands while a colleague dried his. I did the flicking water onto the back of his neck thing. I’m hilarious. He opened the door and shouted “what a dick” just as some other colleagues were in the hall. They’ll wonder what he saw in there.
This morning, while fumbling around with my phone this morning when my alarm went off I somehow managed to call the man who delivered my pizza a couple of weeks ago…
There was something strangely fitting about the big ginger woman and her ginger kid spilling a bag of wotsits right outside the office this afternoon.
That awkward moment when you are gawping at a girl who is walking past you, then her boyfriend/husband spots you, then you notice he only has one arm and thinks you were staring at that…
We watched the remake of Total Recall, and the girl with the three tits made an appearance. Andrea commented “what’s the use in her having three tits, you’ve only got two eyes.” Yeah just think about that for a second…
There was a guy walking down the street past me as I had a cigarette, he had headphones in and was listening to music. He was also whistling that classic When The Saints Go Marching In. I later realised since it’s impossible to whistle one tune while listening to another, he must have been listening to When The Saints Go Marching in on his headphones. Who does that?