This didn’t happen to me, I read it in the news. Please calm your outrage, no I am not going to start simply reviewing common or garden news stories on this site (unless people really want me...
Author - Alan McCann
My Bizarre Phobias
If you think you’ve got some weird phobias, have a read of this shit I have to put up with… Firstly a bit of context, I’ll get onto the bizarre stuff further down. I’m not...
Tube Map Picture Quiz
Really bored? And yet also bored of all the content on this site? Have you literally read everything, or aren’t in the slightest bit interested in my ramblings but ended up here by mistake...
I Saw Five Nipples On The Tube Today
When I made the above statement to a colleague last summer the response was not “How did that happen?” or even “Cool, what line were you on?”. Rather it was “But why not...
The Internet Dumbfuck Virus
As the internet began to be widely used, but was still relatively new, people began to realise fairly quickly that it could be used for mischief. I’m sure we all remember the chain letters that...
Why God Hates Free Newspapers
Tonight my journey from work to the Tube was not quite as eventful as last night’s but an interesting thing happened when I arrived at Oxford Circus station. Getting to the station is always a...
So I Stole A Random Woman’s Handbag…
Yeah so like the title said, yesterday, I stole a woman’s handbag. She was walking along the street where I work; well, I say walking, she was wearing high heels clearly far higher than she had...
Other Alan McCanns of the Internet
I’ve had my legal department in my office all day, we have been discussing the potential complications of posting things that aren’t technically anecdotes on this site, and the legal...
The Day I Nearly Blew Up Parliament
“Hey look at this guy,” one armed policeman said to the other, “Look how … how WHITE he is! White as a freshly seized haul of cocaine. White as a transit van that’s up...
An Experiment In User-Generated Content
It’s 3 o’clock in the fucking morning and I’m partway through 6 new McCannecdotes – have you any idea how long it takes to search the internet for funny stories and then...
Sitting On Your Arse Playing PlayStation All Day?
Sadly, I can’t tell many of my stories from work, because either a) you had to be there, b) you wouldn’t know the people or the backstory, or c) they are commercially sensitive. And...
The Blue Shark & The Frisbee
Café Sol in Clapham was an old haunt of mine when I used to work in the area. In fact it was a Friday night mainstay for about a quarter of the company. A Tex-Mex restaurant by day and evening, the...