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The Condom Conundrum

October 20, 2013

Some things are supposed to be hard when comes to making love, buying condoms should not be one of them. In the 1980s and 90s long before I knew what condoms were, believing them to be some kind of street drug given how hush-hush people seemed about mentioning them, I remember the TV adverts which tried to reassure you that it was OK to buy …

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The Swedophile Ring

April 30, 2013

With the Eurovision Song Contest taking place in Malmo, Sweden this year, I’m already well-prepared in advance for the festivities, with a Swedish flag and a Swedish sash with Sweden written on it. Now some of you might think that I’m the kind of person who has national tat for every country in the world stocked up in my cupboards “just in case”. You’d be …

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The Checkout Girl – Part II

January 27, 2013

PREVIOUSLY IN “THE CHECKOUT GIRL” ANECDOTE: I fancied the big-nosed Polish girl from Sainsbury’s, bought t-shirt to impress her, went shopping, bought a tonne of crap, she wasn’t there. Then she turned up, I bought a tonne more crap, went to checkout, everything I bought was shaped like a dong, she noticed the t-shirt, said it made her day, I had nothing to say, so smiled …

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The Checkout Girl – Part I

January 27, 2013

In a previous post I introduced my “Polish Girls Are The Best” t-shirt and the kind of shenanigans it got me into, but that wasn’t what it was originally destined for. I had it printed more specifically as an ice-breaker to a Polish beauty working in my local Sainsbury’s, whom I’d had my eye on for some time. Ilona was probably the one who started my short-lived …

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