Online Dating

Online Dating Is For Freaks…

June 1, 2015

…Or rather, that’s who it’s supposed to be for. That’s who it was always meant to be for. Online dating was invented for those who struggled to meet people in real life, weren’t shiny and good-looking and fashionable, lacked some inter-personal skills, didn’t go out to bars, in fact barely left the house and could only meet new people using the internet and computers. Basically people like me. …

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Who Wants To Date A Bosnian

July 4, 2014

My dating videos have generally been pretty successful, this is the story of one that bucked the trend, and made the girl in question … well, run away quickly. There are some similarities here with The Last Date I Never Had in that despite making great progress in the e-mailing and phone chatting stakes, the girl had a remarkably swift change of heart at the …

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The Date With The Drug Dealer

January 6, 2014

So despite a few minor hiccups along the way, and against the odds, my first date with Alice was a success and she wanted to see me again. The argument we had about whether or not she wanted to date me again was consigned to our list of “hilarious” early-days anecdotes to tell people at our wedding. Never let it be said I think too …

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Where No McCann Has Gone Before

January 3, 2014

You’re probably surprised to see another dating story given that a couple of months ago I posted this scathing rant about the women on I pretty much considered myself done with online dating when I wrote that, and shortly after tested out some of my theories about the shallow women of Match by Photoshopping my profile picture to see if I got more views …

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Meanwhile, Back On

October 13, 2013

So I wiped my profile in May or June, having completely had it with online dating for a while, and specifically with that website. I probably ranted about how I was never going back and “it’s enough to turn you gay” and other such things. I ended up going back, I always do. Partly because every time I go on there to cancel my …

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My First Sober Year

September 29, 2013

I was going to start by saying how surprised I am that I made it to a year without drinking, but I think I knew from the moment I stepped out of the rehab clinic that me and the drinkies were done for good. If alcohol had been a person, I’d have unfriended them on Facebook. Drinking had officially pissed me off and I think …

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The Last Date I Never Had

April 22, 2013

I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. That I would not have to be writing on my blog, satirising this most recent girl I was in touch with through online dating. It seemed like we might even progress past the first date into proper dating, and she would be immune from inclusion in my posts, except when we had had hilarious times together and …

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The Date Of The Dead

April 20, 2013

I have mentioned before my annoyance with the sameyness of online dating profiles. Every girl out there seems to be the same skiing, mountain-climbing, horse-riding booklover who likes travelling and spending time with her friends. I was looking for someone different. Preferably actually someone with no friends, who’d probably be the type I’d have a chance with. This Japanese girl, I’ll call her Yōko, stood …

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Things I Shouldn’t Have Said To Women

April 9, 2013

I’m well-known for my way with words with women, sadly not quite in the manner I’d hope for. If there’s something inappropriate to be said I have a habit of saying it and if there’s a back-handed compliment to be made I’m usually the first to make it. I never mean anything wrong, I’m very well-intentioned, but I have a habit of trying so hard …

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The Problems With Having A Website

March 9, 2013

When I started this blog, I intended it as an efficient way to keep about 6 people up-to-date on the latest shenanigans in my life without having to tell them, call them or e-mail them individually. A noble ambition. Now with literally “some” or even “dozens” of readers, I’ve realised my ambitions were too muted. Now I want to run an international Polish t-shirt printing business, …

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The Online Dating Game, Part II

March 3, 2013

A couple of weeks ago, I sent some of my online dating questionnaire to one my female friends, to see what she thought. She responded with just this mocking quote: “I found this really cute-sounding guy on eHarmony. Problem is, I think he uses humour as a defence-mechanism and is therefore emotionally unavailable” She was probably spot on, I was aware of the fact that making …

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