The Wrong Kind Of Gym Body

Do I go to the gym? Well, thanks for asking. People rarely ask me that, I don’t know why. Even the staff of Fitness First round the corner from work never ask me, as they patrol the streets giving away free passes and enticing the ladies, gentlemen, circus freaks, tourists and the infirm¬†of the Soho […]

Why God Hates Free Newspapers

Tonight my journey from work to the Tube was not quite as eventful as last night’s but an interesting thing happened when I arrived at Oxford Circus station. Getting to the station is always a suspenseful moment. Will the station even be open? Every other day around rush hour it gets closed because of overcrowding, […]

So I Stole A Random Woman’s Handbag…

Yeah so like the title said,¬†yesterday, I stole a woman’s handbag. She was walking along the street where I work; well, I say walking, she was wearing high heels clearly far higher than she had been trained to walk in. She was clamouring hurriedly along the street like a midget on stilts, or a drunk […]