This is where you’ll find the text I’ve written to introduce my blog. It will be engaging and contextualise the breadth of content available on McCannecdotes. But a post below about a date gone wrong, or a nudey mishap might just catch your eye and you’ll never even read this.

A selection of the shit I've written thus far...

The Fishy Paypacket

I’ve had a varied career; games marketing, music management, publishing, web design, icing doughnuts, labouring, gutting fish. I guess for some reason I don’t really talk about the last...

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Rules For Complimenting A Lady

Women love compliments. FACT. Women hate compliments. Bizarrely, also FACT. The incompatibility of these two statements has vexed me since I first uttered the phrase “that’s a smashing...

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The Internet Dumbfuck Virus

As the internet began to be widely used, but was still relatively new, people began to realise fairly quickly that it could be used for mischief. I’m sure we all remember the chain letters that...

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The Coming Out & The Punchbag

My first flatmates in London were a gay couple, I’d moved here to London with them. We’d all been friends working at the same company in Birmingham, and neither of them had come out yet...

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Taking The Tube To Manchester

Imagine you’d never met me (some of you haven’t; you should, I’m nice) and I went up to you in a train station in London and said “Excuse me, can you do me a favour, I need a...

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The Problems With Having A Website

When I started this blog, I intended it as an efficient way to keep about 6 people up-to-date on the latest shenanigans in my life without having to tell them, call them or e-mail them individually...

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Who Is This Man?

On a lazy Sunday morning when I can’t be arsed to leave the house, it seems the anecdotes come to me instead… My sleep was regularly interrupted by many buzzings at the front door this...

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The Darts Conundrum

It seems even this website itself isn’t immune to random happenings. I decided to take a look at my site’s stats to see how many reads I was getting on recent posts. One of the stats...

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The Swedophile Ring

With the Eurovision Song Contest taking place in Malmo, Sweden this year, I’m already well-prepared in advance for the festivities, with a Swedish flag and a Swedish sash with Sweden written on...

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The Eurovision Party

It’s customary to have an annual Eurovision party at my place, usually involving the same group of cultured friends who appreciate this annual music festival (and home to the greatest new...

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Blood, Red Wine & Tears

Bambus used to be my drink of choice – it’s basically red wine and coke, and not as disgusting as you might think. As someone who never liked red wine, it was the perfect option in group...

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Is Clapping Common on the Northern Line?

The Tube has always been a source of amusement for me, as you might have discovered in one of my earliest posts (the coloured underlined text is a hint to go and discover it now if you hadn’t...

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Training At Work

I think I’m a great person to be in a group training session with, and also a complete nightmare, depending on who you are. I’m great if you’re in my group, training alongside me...

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The Cash Machine Karma

I’m a big believer in Karma – the idea that your actions, good or bad, determine what’s coming to you. Of course, the fact that I am not a three-time multi-million-pound lottery...

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My True Colours

“Whit’s yer favourite colour wee man?” It’s a strange question to be asked in a dank seedy underpass. Maybe when I answered, the other young chap urinating against the wall...

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The Passion Of The Christs

“Excuse me,” she said, her angular, Billie-Piper-esque gob thoroughly filled with sandwich as she spoke, “Do you have a moment for a quick survey about religion?” “No...

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The Ginger Man & The Strip Club

I had a long list of things to achieve before I was 30. The usual stuff, publish novel, win BAFTA, marry Ashley Judd. I compiled this list when I was 20, and ten years seemed like ample time to...

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The Internet Dumbfuck Virus II

I write this from my bunker deep underneath the streets of Tooting. The Internet Dumbfuck Virus has been spreading and me and my loved ones have taken shelter (by loved ones I mean cat, Lara Croft...

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Welcome to Birmingham

My first job was in Birmingham and I lived there for two and a half years between 2001 and 2003. It’s a misunderstood place, not quite the shithole everyone is led to believe, but it never gave...

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I Saw Five Nipples On The Tube Today

When I made the above statement to a colleague last summer the response was not “How did that happen?” or even “Cool, what line were you on?”. Rather it was “But why not...

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The Capital C Word

With the title of this post and the last, people might be worried this site is going all Sesame Street themed, but no, just a coincidence. No-one would ever call me conservative with a lower-case c...

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The Nudist, the Nutcase & the Earthquake

I recounted in my previous post how I found myself in Birmingham living and working. I had settled in the Moseley area, very leafy and green and popular with students, which meant that a lot of my...

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McCannswers – Reader Survey #1

McCannecdotes.com is now home to around 20,000 words of random mccanecdotal shit. This survey lets you have your say in the kind of shit I focus on for the next 20,000 words. Please give as much...

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Meanwhile, Back On Match.com

So I wiped my match.com profile in May or June, having completely had it with online dating for a while, and specifically with that website. I probably ranted about how I was never going back and...

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In The Dreamtime

So I was out last night and managed to pick up this extremely hot girl in the bar, whose only intention seemed to be to take home the first person who chatted her up. We went back to her place...

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The Aliens Up Above Us

The people upstairs have always been weird. I don’t mean the people who currently live upstairs have displayed consistently bizarre behaviour in the time I’ve known them. I mean the...

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My Bizarre Phobias

If you think you’ve got some weird phobias, have a read of this shit I have to put up with… Firstly a bit of context, I’ll get onto the bizarre stuff further down. I’m not...

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Times I Have Been Punched

Thankfully, this is not part one of a series, but still this post is longer than I’d like. Getting punched has always taken me by surprise. Whereas in a fight, I’d be ready and aware that...

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Four Play

This story is just a prelude to a bigger anecdote I am writing which will take about an hour to read and have a spectacular climax. Someone asked me recently if I was a theatre buff. Nice to have an...

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The Underground Pie Fight

I snapped tonight. No, I’ve not been doing yoga again, this was on the commute home. If you’re a regular reader you will know this has been coming for some time, my journey to the Tube an...

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