Category - Home Life

The Butter-Basted Bastard

You can listen to this instead of reading it with the podcast thingies above. Sorry there’s two but the app I got cut me off after 15 minutes, then asked me to rate the app. OH I WILL. Oh. I...

The Aliens Up Above Us

The people upstairs have always been weird. I don’t mean the people who currently live upstairs have displayed consistently bizarre behaviour in the time I’ve known them. I mean the...

The Coming Out & The Punchbag

My first flatmates in London were a gay couple, I’d moved here to London with them. We’d all been friends working at the same company in Birmingham, and neither of them had come out yet...

How I Lost My Vodka

There are a lot of stories on this site that involve drinking, but to be honest it came as a shock to me how many actually don’t. When I first started writing this blog, I assumed it would...

Brace Yourself

This anecdote cost me £415 so it better be fucking worth it. I took the day off on Thursday for two things I intensely dislike, the dentist and the barber. With the dentist it’s not so much me...

In The Dreamtime

So I was out last night and managed to pick up this extremely hot girl in the bar, whose only intention seemed to be to take home the first person who chatted her up. We went back to her place...

My True Colours

“Whit’s yer favourite colour wee man?” It’s a strange question to be asked in a dank seedy underpass. Maybe when I answered, the other young chap urinating against the wall...

Who Is This Man?

On a lazy Sunday morning when I can’t be arsed to leave the house, it seems the anecdotes come to me instead… My sleep was regularly interrupted by many buzzings at the front door this...

The Nudist, the Nutcase & the Earthquake

I recounted in my previous post how I found myself in Birmingham living and working. I had settled in the Moseley area, very leafy and green and popular with students, which meant that a lot of my...

The Eurovision Party

It’s customary to have an annual Eurovision party at my place, usually involving the same group of cultured friends who appreciate this annual music festival (and home to the greatest new...

The Naked Neighbour

A letter from a (now former) upstairs neighbour, pushed under our door, to explain the ‘commotion’ of the previous evening. This anecdote tells itself really; maybe this is the way...