The Five Card Trick

So last year I sent 5 Valentine’s cards. I know what you’re thinking. What a nice guy, sharing joy and flattery throughout the female population. Oh, you’re not thinking that at all? You’re thinking I’m a desperate freak? Not at all. If I were desperate I’d be using the targeted mass-mailing e-card system I developed in […]

Online Dating Is For Freaks…

…Or rather, that’s who it’s supposed to be for. That’s who it was always meant to be for. Online dating was invented for those who struggled to meet people in real life, weren’t shiny and good-looking and fashionable, lacked some inter-personal skills, didn’t go out to bars, in fact barely left the house and could only meet new […]

Rules For Complimenting A Lady

Women love compliments. FACT. Women hate compliments. Bizarrely, also FACT. The incompatibility of these two statements has vexed me since I first uttered the phrase “that’s a smashing blouse you have on” and was met with “why is this stalker talking to me?” I’m generally someone who likes to say nice things to people. I […]

The Fishy Paypacket

I’ve had a varied career; games marketing, music management, publishing, web design, icing doughnuts, labouring, gutting fish. I guess for some reason I don’t really talk about the last few much, so I thought it was about time I took you on a little tour of my first working experiences. For school work experience I […]

The Cash Machine Karma

I’m a big believer in Karma – the idea that your actions, good or bad, determine what’s coming to you. Of course, the fact that I am not a three-time multi-million-pound lottery winner suggests that over the years I have made some mistakes, insulted too many brutishly overweight ladies maybe or used the c-word far too […]

The Date With The Drug Dealer

So despite a few minor hiccups along the way, and against the odds, my first date with Alice was a success and she wanted to see me again. The argument we had about whether or not she wanted to date me again was consigned to our list of “hilarious” early-days anecdotes to tell people at […]

Where No McCann Has Gone Before

You’re probably surprised to see another dating story given that a couple of months ago I posted this scathing rant about the women on match.com. I pretty much considered myself done with online dating when I wrote that, and shortly after tested out some of my theories about the shallow women of Match by Photoshopping […]